Is there really a difference in the behavior or level of adjustment of the child whether they are spanked or not?
Many people who advocate against spanking would say that spanking is a form of violence and it will cause the child to have more behavioral problems as they grow older. They think those children have less anger problems than children who were spanked.
But, I fail to see that...
Actually, in my observation while growing up, I can say that more of the children who were spanked had better behavior than the ones who didn't. The one's who didn't get spankings as a child were the ones who grew up as pre-teens and teens drinking, smoking, and getting into legal trouble. More of the children who did receive spankings were more respectful toward authority and in school received better grades than the ones who didn't.
But even still...is spanking truly the issue in affecting the child's behavior, as much as whether or not their is discipline, period?
I think the child's behavior is more affected if there is simply no discipline demonstrated in the home, and not so much about spanking being the problem. If there is no form of discipline or structured consequences for bad behavior, the child will have behavioral issues.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
VIDEO: How Spanking Feels...in the eyes of the Child
Children's drawings and quotes about how they feel about spanking
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
How Does Spanking Affect Your Child?
As Kevin previously stated in this blog, spanking can lead to children misbehaving even more. Here's an article from Time highlighting a study conducted through Tulane University on long term effects of spanking.
Spanking is NOT the answer!
In my opinion, spanking should never be acceptable. No matter how out of control, or how disrespectful a child can be, they should never be put in that situation. Children should not have a fear of their parents but rather a large sense of respect and in my opinion that can be achieved in many other, non-aggressive ways.
I believe that spanking your child is taking the easy way out in parenting.Instead of getting your point across, you could be causing yourself and your child even more damage. Research done by the ‘anti-spanking movement’ has found that when spanking your child, you are teaching your child to be more aggressive and in conclusion is teaching them to hit others. Spanking is also shown to increase behavioral difficulties over time. Brooks states in our textbook that "children with warm and supportive mothers had fewer behavior problems." Spanking is teaching your children that violence is acceptable when you are angry or scared. Although I don’t believe that spanking is a good thing, research does show some benefits from spanking children. Despite the research, I still don’t believe that much good can come from violence. How can any parent feel good about what they have done after hitting their children. Instead of resolving an issue, it’s creating more of a problem. If it’s harmful emotionally for you as a parent, and emotionally and physically for the child, why would anyone do it? Spanking causes problems for the child’s sense of trust towards you as a parent and affects the parent/child relationship.
Our textbook, wrtten by Brooks, states that parents were more likly to hit their children when children were out of control, disobedient or disrespecful. In many situations, this is because that is how they were treated when they were children. They don't know any other source of punishment. The book also states that 85 percent of parents would rather not use spanking towards their children. Here are a few other punishments or ways to get your point across. 1) time outs 2)take away a favorite toy 3) tell them what they have done wrong and why it should never be done again. If your child feels that they are important and respected, you should begin to get nothing but respect in return. There are several parenting programs out there. If you as a parent don't feel that you know what the right thing to do is, get help and recieve other opinions.
I believe that spanking your child is taking the easy way out in parenting.Instead of getting your point across, you could be causing yourself and your child even more damage. Research done by the ‘anti-spanking movement’ has found that when spanking your child, you are teaching your child to be more aggressive and in conclusion is teaching them to hit others. Spanking is also shown to increase behavioral difficulties over time. Brooks states in our textbook that "children with warm and supportive mothers had fewer behavior problems." Spanking is teaching your children that violence is acceptable when you are angry or scared. Although I don’t believe that spanking is a good thing, research does show some benefits from spanking children. Despite the research, I still don’t believe that much good can come from violence. How can any parent feel good about what they have done after hitting their children. Instead of resolving an issue, it’s creating more of a problem. If it’s harmful emotionally for you as a parent, and emotionally and physically for the child, why would anyone do it? Spanking causes problems for the child’s sense of trust towards you as a parent and affects the parent/child relationship.
Our textbook, wrtten by Brooks, states that parents were more likly to hit their children when children were out of control, disobedient or disrespecful. In many situations, this is because that is how they were treated when they were children. They don't know any other source of punishment. The book also states that 85 percent of parents would rather not use spanking towards their children. Here are a few other punishments or ways to get your point across. 1) time outs 2)take away a favorite toy 3) tell them what they have done wrong and why it should never be done again. If your child feels that they are important and respected, you should begin to get nothing but respect in return. There are several parenting programs out there. If you as a parent don't feel that you know what the right thing to do is, get help and recieve other opinions.
Spanking or Abusing?
Sometimes parents either don't know the difference between spanking and abuse or they get so frustrated with their children that the anger builds up and they end up taking it too far. According to our class text, "The Process of Parenting" by Jane B. Brooks, there are two definite distinctions between levels of physical discipline. The first level consists of "mild spanking, defined as a slap or two with the flat of the hand on the buttocks or extremities without causing any physical injury to the child and normally used with young children between ages two and six". The other level is defined as "abuse, including beating, kicking, and punching that results in injury to the child".
As you can see there is a definite difference between the two and it's almost unfathomable that some parents don't know the difference when it comes to handling their children. It seems as though parents are more likely to use spanking if they were spanked as a form of discipline when they were younger. For many this has been proven effective, if used properly. For others, such as the woman in the following video from an episode of Dr. Phil, it's easy to see that it wasn't effective when she was younger and most definitely isn't effective and/or an acceptable form of discipline.
Dr. Phil - Part 1
Dr. Phil - Part 2
Dr. Phil - Part 3
As you can see there is a definite difference between the two and it's almost unfathomable that some parents don't know the difference when it comes to handling their children. It seems as though parents are more likely to use spanking if they were spanked as a form of discipline when they were younger. For many this has been proven effective, if used properly. For others, such as the woman in the following video from an episode of Dr. Phil, it's easy to see that it wasn't effective when she was younger and most definitely isn't effective and/or an acceptable form of discipline.
Dr. Phil - Part 1
Dr. Phil - Part 2
Dr. Phil - Part 3
Monday, August 15, 2011
When Spanking has its Place
Spanking is an act of discipline that has been used for a long time now but has decreased over the last few decades. The controversy is whether or not there are better ways to discipline a child without risking negative emotional affects.
The key to keep spanking as a good source of discipline is to only do it on rare occasions and most importantly, do not cross the line. The spanking should be mild with only a slap or two without causing much pain to the child. If you cross or border the line between mild spanking and abusive beating, kicking, or punching, you are going beyond this safe form of disciplinary and should find a new way to educate your child.
Another good way to know if you are using this discipline in the right way is if you are doing it out of anger or not. If you are spanking the child because you are angry or frustrated you need to re-evaluate your methods.
If you follow these guidelines, the child will know that they just broke a rule they need to follow from there on out. For example, if your child runs out into the road, a mild spanking sends the message that they cannot do that anymore. Scaring a child into following your rules is not usually a good idea, but at times when their safety is involved, it is what's needed.
Polls have shown that about two thirds of parents of children age three to five, spank their kids on average one to three times a week. This does not send the same warning to the child as when they are spanked in extreme cases just a few times a year.
Some people are against spanking and that's okay. Everybody has different parenting techniques. But in selected situations, spanking can get the message across to keep your child safe, without negatively affecting your child.
The key to keep spanking as a good source of discipline is to only do it on rare occasions and most importantly, do not cross the line. The spanking should be mild with only a slap or two without causing much pain to the child. If you cross or border the line between mild spanking and abusive beating, kicking, or punching, you are going beyond this safe form of disciplinary and should find a new way to educate your child.
Another good way to know if you are using this discipline in the right way is if you are doing it out of anger or not. If you are spanking the child because you are angry or frustrated you need to re-evaluate your methods.
If you follow these guidelines, the child will know that they just broke a rule they need to follow from there on out. For example, if your child runs out into the road, a mild spanking sends the message that they cannot do that anymore. Scaring a child into following your rules is not usually a good idea, but at times when their safety is involved, it is what's needed.
Polls have shown that about two thirds of parents of children age three to five, spank their kids on average one to three times a week. This does not send the same warning to the child as when they are spanked in extreme cases just a few times a year.
Some people are against spanking and that's okay. Everybody has different parenting techniques. But in selected situations, spanking can get the message across to keep your child safe, without negatively affecting your child.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)